Brody's Birthday-Part 2

Our time with Brody was so precious and memorable.  We could never have anticipated it being this way.  Just the day before, we were devastated when we found out that we had lost him already, but the second we were able to hold him in our arms, we were filled with peace and overwhelming love for this little boy.

We found comfort in knowing that he did not have to experience any pain.  God again took charge of this decision for us, and provided the 'comfort care' Himself.  Brody looked like a beautiful, sleeping baby;  one that had peacefully gone to be with his Heavenly Father.  He was beautiful in every way.  We felt our faith deepen as we found ourselves wholeheartedly believing that Brody was no longer a little baby with a condition that was incompatible with life, but rather a healthy little boy, sitting on our Father's lap, possibly looking down at us, asking us to be okay.

We decided to have a photographer from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep come to take pictures of Brody and our family with him.  We were so glad that she came.  Allison volunteered her time to capture each and every detail of him.

His hands...

and his feet...

At first we were not sure if we wanted a photographer to come.  This was part of our plan if Brody would have made it through delivery, but when we found out that he had already passed on, we were honestly a little scared about what holding him, taking pictures of him, and sharing him with our family would be like.  We decided to focus on our love for him and honoring him, rather than our concerns and fears; we were so glad that we did.

Our family took turns coming into to our room to "meet" Brody.  I am sure this was extremely difficult and at least as scary for them as it was for us.  But our parents, our siblings, and our dear friend Jill all seemed so comfortable and full of love.  We asked my brother, Trent and our sister-in-law Alyssa to come in first, as they are Brody's godparents.  After they spent some time with us, the rest of our family took turns coming in to hold Brody.  I think any fears were overtaken by how precious and peaceful he was, and of course the overwhelming presence of our Father.  It was good.

A wonderful couple who are pastors at our church came to be with us after Brody was born.  We asked them to baptize Brody.  Although we were already very sure that Brody was in Heaven, we needed the baptism for ourselves.  We wanted to thank God, as a whole family, for giving us Brody.  We wanted to thank Him for taking care of him, and for taking care of us through all of this.  We wanted to baptize Brody, just like we baptized his sister.  Pastor Rich and Pastor Jody carried out such a beautiful service and again, God was so present.

In addition to the decision to have Brody baptized, we also decided to have Addison meet Brody at this time.  We had been taking the approach of being honest with Addison, in two year old terms, and felt that allowing her to see this baby brother we had been talking about for many months, was the right thing to do.  Addison did so well.  She gave her little brother a stuffed bear, blew him a kiss, looked very closely at him, and said "bye Brody" as she left the room.  Just tonight as we were putting her to bed and saying prayers and thanking God for baby Brody, she said, "Baby Brody came out."  We are not exactly sure what she is thinking, but we know that she certainly has not been affected negatively by this, and we are so glad we have been honest with her.  "Baby Brody is in Heaven with Jesus.  Baby Brody is happy."

After our pastors and our family left, it was time for Jason and I to have some alone time with Brody.  We did not want to let him go, and I think in some ways we just felt like he would wake up, that this would all be over, and we could take him home like the other families in the hospital.  About four hours after we got to hold Brody for the first time, we decided it was time to let him go.  We wrapped him in a blanket that was made just for him by his Nana.  We cried, and kissed him, and held him as close as we possibly could, and then let our nurse take him away.  We then needed to focus on our sweet son in Heaven.  Thank you Lord for taking care of him.  We know he was already with you this whole time.

We are doing okay.  We are thankful that God has continued to make some sense of this all for us.  We are thankful that He has provided so many amazing people in our lives...one of His ways of reaching us so tangibly on this earth.  We also know that we are not alone.  We know that many others are dealing with very difficult situations, some that do not seem to make any sense.  We are praying for you.  We pray that God can provide some answers and reveal the blessings.  We also pray that you will find the strength and the faith to know that your questions that cannot be answered, someday will.  That if you patiently and faithfully wait, He will be there, providing the peace and joy that will pull you through.  We are finding that this is something we need to ask for daily.

There is still so much more that we want to share.  Especially our gratefulness to our friends, family, church and the support from people that we don't even know.  Just when we are beginning to feel weak, your emails, cards, text messages, phone calls, meals, flowers, and thoughtful gifts, remind us of how much love this little boy has brought to the forefront of our lives.  Thank you!

Love,
Lindsey & Jason